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If you're that self-loathing cur stuffed in the corner on the verge of bowling for Columbine, this album is for you. The trade-ups between singer Chester Bennington and "rapper" Mike Shinoda are still there, but by God, some people should just, like, not rap. The bone of contention for the Parkers is the ever-present girlfriend you hate, and are gonna break up with reeeeal soon, but not before venting over two full albums and a (decent) remix release in between. Musically, the band has definitely gotten better, with an often successful mix of metal, breaks and sampling, but a 40-page montage on how the artwork was done for the cover? Trees are crying.

Yeah, I still care enough to spell this Canajun band's name in their preferred lower case, but this might be the last time. It's just another sad story of an indie group that came in with a rare, unique take on melody-meets-abrasion (their '94 debut nc17 is a Canadi-indie classic) only to piss it away by taking major-label "suggestion" after major-label "suggestion." Here's what I would have suggested: forget California and go to Canajun Bob Rock's studio in Hawaii, à la Veruca Salt with Eight Arms to Hold Me, and blow it up motherfucking big if you're going to slick it up.

Ex-Dwarves, ex-Kyuss and current Queens of the Stone Age member Nick Oliveri (aka Rex Everything) has released his first solo record and easily wipes the floor with the last outings from QOTSA and the Dwarves. The Queens' "Lightning Song" appears here under the original moniker "13th Floor," but with twice as much ballast and blast. This is a flat-out punk rock record majestically delivered with Oliveri's banshee screaming. Kyuss fans should note that with ex-Kyuss members Josh Homme and Brant Bjork (Fu Manchu) all appearing, this will be the closest you get to a reunion. I hope Oliveri can find time to do another one soon.

Well, regardless of how people judge her tarted-up image—hot? sad? who?—this is, by far, Furtado’s most engaging record. Sure, it sounds like every other Timbaland LP—he co-produced the album and raps on “Promiscuous”—but that’s still pretty solid, and miles more palatable than that nattering “I’m Like a Bird” tripe. But in defence of the earnest, pre-hoochie Furtado, her last LP, Folklore, struck a promising chord under the influence of her Portuguese roots. Too bad it was half-baked, and didn’t sell.

If Around the Fur was their summer album and White Pony their winter one, then Deftones is, despite its release date, the autumn album, with a lush, wide sound that is equally hopeful and bloody dark. After two years of sharpening their knives on the road, they come into the studio with searing intensity. But this album's secret weapon is drummer Abe Cunningham, who lays a foundation leaning more to funk and hip hop than just straight-up rock 'n' roll. Still doing their own thing, it's anyone's guess why they're on tour with Wimp Biscuit, Sinkin' Park and Selloutica. A diamond in the rough, I suppose.

Here’s all the pertinent info you need to know about this duo. EODM are made up of Queens of the Stone Age’s Josh Homme and his buddy Jesse Hughes, and they don’t actually play death metal, but I’m sure you already knew that. What you get are some prime, punked-out pop-rockers dealing with the tried and true rock staple of trying to get laid. They offer no surprises on the debut, but with a formula this perfect, why would you want to change it? QOTSA fans probably won’t get it, but if you dig the bubblegum of vintage Sweet, this is going to be your new Saturday-night record.

Get Behind Me Satan may have gotten the backs of some of the more rabid White Stripes fans up, but Icky Thump goes back to the duo’s ’70s-style garage roots with no screwballs thrown. Jack White reclaims his crown as one of the best songwriters alive right now, while Meg’s plodding, troglodyte beat and bare mix keep any pretensiousness at bay. It seems that Jack has gotten his yah-yahs out with the Raconteurs over the past two years, and comes back to the White Stripes with a renewed sense of purpose on what’s probably their strongest release yet.

There was a time when MM used to be scary, or at least make your skin crawl. Now that the grandiose has been dealt with, MM takes you into his rotting inner self, making Eat Me, Drink Me his most personal (and boring as hell) release to date. The artwork, arguably more important now than ever in the age of downloads, isn’t nearly as interesting as before, just Manson in various melodramatic poses. In the end, Eat Me, Drink Me comes off subtle, barely creepy and fairly predictable, with only MM, ex-KMFDMer Tim Skold and a drum machine on hand—carving drummer Ginger Fish out of the mix makes for too much rigor mortis

Era Vulgaris starts off with three blasters—“Turnin’ on the Screw,” “Sick Sick Sick” and “I’m Designer”—perfectly mixing krautrock coldness and punk chutzpah, but hitting those record highs, the band sets a pace that it just can’t keep up with. Filler tracks like “Into the Hollow” and “River in the Road” rear their heads and hopes of another Rated R are quickly dashed. Having said that, the first three songs and closer “Run, Pig, Run,” prove to be jewels in the Queens crown, so keep your finger on the skip button.